A Return to Yourself

January, 2010

Happy 2010! New Year, new *decade*… Often as a new year approaches, I half-jokingly conjure up a theme that represents a new state of awareness that I want to integrate into myself as I release patterns that are no longer serving me. (Last year was the “I’m done with B.S.” year.)  Usually by the time I’ve declared my new theme,  the patterns I’ve avoided addressing have bombarded me in quick enough succession that I’m forced out of any rationalizations I’ve used to avoid change. At that point, I’ve hit the proverbial wall. And when that happens (for me at least), there’s no going back — like it or not, it’s time to tackle them.

So what’s next then? Is it time to queue up the New Year’s resolution list — in the hope of making a few good changes? Actually this is more than that. These themes that crop up are more accurately an animation of an element of the soul that is stirred up and ready to be witnessed. Maybe a dormant quality or characteristic (I believe them to be archetypal), that defines a new level of soul growth and change.

Becoming conscious of these patterns is half the battle. Living through the changes necessary can almost be like a boot-camp experience. We need to reorient our responses in order to integrate changes. We need to “exercise” and “flex” our words, actions and thoughts differently. We need to gain stamina. Soul stamina.

This brings me to this year’s theme. This year feels like a return to yourself year. What do I mean by that? I mean that it’s time to notice the patterns in our relationships, career, health (you name it — fill in the blank…) that have been subtly, and not so subtly called to our attention. These intuitive flashes have been moving us along on our soul schedules — respectfully reminding us that certain dynamics (e.g., self-imposed limitations, unhealthy attitudes, etc.) may have run their course and need to be released for our betterment. Or, the case may be that they simply need refinement in order to fit into our lives to the extent that our emerging selves can sustain them.

Okay, let’s work with an example. How about this one? A great common experience for many of us could be the age-old dynamic where we say to ourselves, “Okay, self — rather than completely cutting ‘Jane’ or ‘my company/career’ out of my life, I need to first stand in the space of having a clear voice and healthy boundary management in this relationship. If however, this relationship continues to compromise my personal integrity, I’ll end it.” It sometimes seems easier to walk away, yet in that example, when we cut and run, rather than face the relationship imbalance head on, it will most assuredly rear its ugly head again. And again… It’s a matter of facing our demons rather than projecting them onto the people or situations that so graciously mirror these aspects back to ourselves. (Yes, I have my hand raised high as I am in the process of muscling through such personal changes myself.)  I do believe that at times it really is necessary to just move on.  However, it’s important to be emotionally honest with ourselves in the process.  Oh, and it’s also a perfect opportunity to explore the unconscious patterns we ourselves bring to others that are in need of overhaul. We all need to own all of ourselves.

This is one step toward an authentic return to yourself…

And it never stops… Nor should it! As brilliantly complex, dynamic, intuitive beings, we are constantly in the process of discovering new aspects of ourselves, as well as building on the foundations of who we always were. It’s so easy to judge ourselves (and others) harshly when we look back at our lives with revisionist history. How often do we refuse to claim the strength, beauty, wisdom and grace we have always had in difficult circumstances and in peaceful, undramatic phases of our lives. Time to acknowledge those moments as we leverage our strength and grace…time to acknowledge the stamina it’s taken to move through the difficulties and even the joyful moments.

Time to return to yourself.

May this year be a time of spiritual congruency–a time of reconciliation between the aspects of our intellect and heart that are reminding us to claim the whole of ourselves. A time to generously step into our empowerment for our health and betterment and in turn, lend healing toward our loved ones and the world at large (the catastrophe in Haiti is our most recent reminder). It’s the perfect time to honor our personal journeys as well, as we observe in awe the cycles our global collective have been experiencing all over the planet.

I’m looking forward to the coming year and the changes it will bring to all of us!

By the way, I’m in the process of changing the scope of my intuitive services. I am still primarily offering readings, but am also expanding my focus to include personal mentoring as well. I’ve found it extremely helpful to have a witness on the path of self exploration and in this spirit, am happy to lend support in personal spiritual direction. You can schedule a intuitive consultation here.

Namaste!

Tania
tania@soulfinding.com