The challenge of living a spiritually congruent life

March, 2010

Okay, so many of you may be asking, “What the hell does that mean?” A good question…And to be honest, I had never even heard of the concept a few years ago. But, I’m a student of Caroline Myss and Robert Ohotto‘s work, and even studied with them in workshop intensive settings where they drove home the concept of Spiritual Congruency. Fascinating stuff.

Now back to the question: What in the hell does it mean?

Since hearing of this concept, I’ve found myself often mulling over what they’ve defined this phrase to mean… It resonates for me as a force that has brought authentic shifts to the way I approach my life. So here is the definition (as I’ve come to understand it):

Spiritual congruency is an alignment between your emotional self and your intellectual self.

We need both in order to be whole–and yet we often live in a fragmented state of either living through our heart (often in an overly emotionally responsive manner) or living through our heads (often in an overly intellectual manner). In the latter case, we logically calculate the path our lives take in a way that discounts the organic, fluid space the voice of our soul speaks from.

Caroline Myss brilliantly instructed me (as part of her “maiden voyage” regarding her new teaching paradigm in a workshop called “Healing and the Mystery of Grace” at the Omega center in the fall of 2007) about the energetic causes of addiction that result from the chasm between the heart and mind. She spoke in terms of our energetic anatomy system through the chakras, but she essentially pointed out in a beautifully obvious way that when we know that we are on the brink of changing ourselves fundamentally, we are oftentimes so afraid of the consequences of following our hardwired intuitive guidance ( yes, our soul, heart based guidance), that our head (intellect) will get in the way and stomp down any movement in that direction based on fear of survival or the unknown. At which point…in comes addictive tendencies to numb down our guidance and pacify our discomfort or resistance to the status quo. Doesn’t matter what brand of addiction — choose your poison… It’s there to stall and prevent the actions necessary to move into greater self-empowerment.

So this begs the question: What does it take to bridge the gap between the parts of ourselves that are so at odds?

A couple things — moving into the process of true congruency requires having a clear voice to speak honestly from a place of personal integrity. It also requires firm boundary development in managing the agenda of one’s own life versus the expectations of other people, our familial systems , or the entitlement generated by sociatal imprinting. That’s a lot to manage as we try to make decisions and move forward in our lives in ways that serve our evolvement.

Ultimately, however, we each need to start to cultivate an authentic sense of self.

And this is no easy task, by the way, when we haven’t been properly modeled, taught or encouraged to even have a sense of who we uniquely are in our growing up. Again, it’s our call to look within and “parent ourselves” gently in the process of self-discovery. This can be be hard as hell (btw) and requires us to check in with ourselves often in order to ask: what is it we are being called toward in our lives in the moment? We can only work with what we have in front of us today — nevermind looking at the unknown future. Being in present time in key.

This is rigorous work. Being awake to our process doesn’t preclude us from falling on our faces in all different forms:

⇨ betraying ourselves by not asking for what we really want

⇨ avoiding distancing ourselves from toxic situations

⇨ remaining in a sleepwalking state of mind as we busy ourselves to ignore what we know to be true in our lives

We’re gonna get in our own way–a lot. But this is part of how we start to respect our own spiritual wiring. We gain respect for ourselves when we start to line up the parts of us that need to be heard, and not dismissed. We gain empowerment when we take action on those life changing course-corrections that both our mind and heart agree upon.

As an aside, the reason I love doing intuitive consultations for people is the simple fact that I’m validating aspects of their soul contracts that they know to be true, yet haven’t acted on yet. When we witness the wisdom of our own intutitive selves, that part of us gains strength. Robert Ohotto calls that “soul esteem”. I love that term.

And I need to point out that it may be a matter of starting with the “smaller” decisions or changes we’re struggling with — as we challenge ourselves to really incorporate a more honest bridging of the heart and mind in certain parts of our lives. I know that this is how I work toward my own process…small victories count!!

Sending lots of love and “soul esteem support” on the journey!