The Hidden Gifts Found in Grief

Grief is a tough topic. There’s no limit to how we experience the loss of someone or something dear to us on this human journey. We’re never fully ready for it, and the ways we meet ourselves in the process are deeply personal and unique.

I’ve faced my share of painful losses: my beloved in-laws and my father a few years back. Those endings pushed me to look inward, to reconcile how I’d honored those relationships while grappling with the closure their passing forced upon me. There’s no single path through grief; it’s a spiral that, with time, can lead to a higher place of acceptance.

Recently, I lost my beautiful soul dog, Ellie. I truly believe she and I had an agreement to share this life. She arrived at just the right moment and showed me, in countless ways, how much I mattered to her. My kids would tease that she’d imprinted on me. Through her eyes, I saw myself anew. She thought I was spectacular, and her energy radiated that belief every single day.

Her unconditional love softened a hardness around my heart I hadn’t even realized had built up over time. Resentments, unspoken words, and old stories I’d clung to (the ones keeping me stuck) were taking up space that no longer served me. As I shed that old skin and began seeing through fresh eyes, I understood Ellie’s passing as a completion. She left because she knew it was time, even when I didn’t. My grief was, and still is, heavy, but it’s lightening as I hold onto the gifts she gave me through the way she lived.

Here’s what grief has offered me:

• Appreciation through Ellie’s eyes: She loved everything about life: her family, her food, her toys, the sun, the snow, the smells in the air, the birds overhead, the people she met, the neighborhood dogs. Her joy was boundless.
• Release of blocked heart energy: My love for Ellie cracked my heart wide open. When she left, the grief felt unbearable. Yet through waves of tears and sadness, I washed away years of unresolved pain. Now, I feel a peace and clarity I believe she helped me find.
• Connection to myself and others: It’s easy to take life for granted. Watching Ellie embrace every moment with enthusiasm, even in discomfort, inspires me. It’s fuel for my life’s work: to honor the beauty in myself and others, despite a world that often pulls us in the opposite direction. I’m setting an intention to live what Ellie taught me.
• Signs from spirit: Our loved ones reach out in unexpected ways. I’ve felt this time and again. Pay attention, ask for signs, and don’t lose heart if they’re slow to appear; grief can cloud our ability to notice them, but they’ll come. Just last week, Ellie brushed against my legs, the way she always did. My husband felt it too, at a different moment. We only realized it by sharing with each other. So, I encourage you: talk about your sacred experiences with those who’ll hold space for you.

To everyone grieving in your own way, I’m sending you love, from my heart and Ellie’s. 💛 Grief is sacred, and I hold you in reverence as you walk through your own shadowed valley.